If I had a 1,000,000 dollars

Ever daydream that? If you have ever bought a scratchie or lotto or dabbled in bond villainy you would of had a moment to ponder if you had a million dollars. Which country would you buy? Sports car? House? How about a monkey? Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

A million dollars isn't very much anymore and unless your Dr. Evil you may need to set your sights slightly higher. That is should you wish to avoid all financial woe while remaining in the matter to which you have become accustom. I wont say that a million dollars wont buy you a better refrigerator box to live in, but unless you have 6 months to live your not going to be going all Brewsters Millions with that many clams.

What can you get for $1,000,000 these days you might be thinking, and the answer depends on your tastes. You could:

A) Buy a caravan park near Dubbo and live comfortably til end of days in your Winnebago.
B) Buy 1 limited edition handcrafted European super car
C) Start a super secret Ninja school
D) Buy a bottle of tequilla.... in Bora Bora

But more realistically what you could do is improve your quality of life. But you probably are still going to have to go to work when the hangover wears off, instead of start building your own Batcave.

Currency is a complicated thing with exchange rates and reserve bank loan rates ensuring that there is a never ending financial skirmish of different value monetary trading blocks. All currency valued against a single moving point whether it be Oil or Reserve Bank interest rates - all money is compared to something else (even other money) to give a point of reference. Like trading Cricket cards - a complete set of current South African Cricket Team for a Vintage Booney.

In Columbia the smallest denomination note is 100,000 pesos. What you should consider here is either the streets are made of gold or the currency should actually be valued against the price of Redskins. When the smallest bank note has that many zeroes on it you've either got nephews named Donald, Huey, Dewy and Louie OR you might as well be paying for your groceries by Kg of money.

The point with currency its a matter of perspective, when you were 7 and had $5 didn't you first think how many Wizz Fizz this could buy you or did you think how much short you were for a new Porsche. Right now, a Millionaire isn't really a Millionaire anymore. If you really wanted just 6 zeroes on the end of your monthly bank statement you could always move...

• 1,000,000.00 Colombian Peso = $562.74 Australian Dollars = 5,627 Redskins
• 1,000,000.00 Chinese Yuan = 153,377.01 Australian Dollars = 515,552 Eggs
• 1,000,000.00 Sweden Kronor = 177,400.20 Australian Dollars = 23 Jumping Castles

So dear reader, when you are blissfully thinking of ways to escape your work time foxhole, don't think about winning a million dollars, think about winning a couple of million just to tide you over. Because from where you are sitting now being a Millionaire isn't that far a leap.

In the meantime I'll go find out how much it costs to buy you a Monkey.

Andy. A man who wishes he had a Batmobile.